MISS BEHAVIN’

Part 4

**The source I used to write the next part is a letter I wrote to SG shortly after this next event took place

I could barely contain my anxiety. In the morning SG and I talk logistics for the Skype date over WhatsApp. We land on 7pm and she suggests the theme should be “timing”. She then tells me it’s midnight and she’s gonna to sleep so she isn’t tired for Skype.

**This period of months and years after SG and I reconnect following the 12 month hiatus is characterised by us forever trying to arrange Skype sessions with varying levels of success due mainly to massive UK-Australia time differences and the fact that we were both working professionals. Sometimes we’d find a time that matched, or move things around to make it work, but it was always a struggle. Then sometimes we’d tee up a time and she’d just plain forget. Once time SG went shopping, another time she was getting her hair cut. As frustrating as this was, it was always worth it. 

5:30pm - My mind is running wild: “Oh god, she’s definitely read the letter. What if she didn’t like what she read? What if I said too much? What if it didn’t make sense? What if she thinks you’re an emotional foolish wreck?! What if she never wants to talk to you again? This could be it!! Oh, god I hope not. Surely not - she liked and commented on your instagram photo from Byron Bay just a couple days ago! That’s gotta be a good sign right? RIGHT?!”. 

Feeling the all-too-familiar sharp descent into madness coming on quickly, I looked around for something to distract me until 7pm. I saw the out of date vision board (yes, I had a vision board) on the floor behind me and decided to rearrange it to look more aesthetically pleasing. It didn’t work.

The thoughts raged on like a cyclone in my skull and the time flew by without me realising. 

6:55pm - I open up Skype - no SG. I think “Nah that’s fine, she’s still got 5 minutes.”

7:05pm - No SG - “Ok where is she?”.

7:15pm - No SG - “Is she getting her haircut again? Did she forget? Should I message her? No no no, it’ll look too needy. Let’s play it cool and just wait till she comes online.”

7:20pm - No SG - “Nup. Gonna message her. 20 minutes late for a VERY important Skype date with not warning. Not ok.” So I sent you a little message on WhatSapp “Oi. You’re Late!”… no reply.

I started to stew and ruminate over the thousand least charitable explanations for SG’s lateness. 10 minutes passed and then just as I went to pick up the phone and send a stern message to SG... there was a knock at the door. (and this is what the bridge of Miss Behavin’ is about)

I thought “That’s a bit weird, even when I’m playing music I usually hear the intercom buzzer before someone gets to the door. Meh, it’s probably just my housemates girlfriend. I’ll be a good bloke and let her in for him.” So I rose from my chair and moved toward the front door which was just meters from my room on the bottom floor of our split level apartment. With each step closer a strange feeling took hold of my entire body and a brief thought crossed my mind “This couldn’t be…"

Not knowing what to expect, I opened the door to a sight I couldn’t believe to be true. It was SG; standing taller than I remember in skinny black jeans and the Bin Tang singlet I gave to her before she left in 2010. Her hair was out, and she was wearing a little bit of make up which made her brilliantly blue eyes pop like I’d never seen them before. Beautiful. SG started to talk the moment I opened the door but I honestly couldn’t tell you a single word she said. I was completely in shock. I couldn’t talk, I couldn't think. I could barely stand up. It was like every single positive emotion I could possibly feel maxed out and went surging through my entire body all at once. In a split second everything that was there 5 years ago, came flooding back. 

After standing there with my jaw on the floor for what was probably no less than 2 minutes, SG introduced me to her sister (who’s holiday it actually was) and she invited herself in because my brain still hadn’t come back online yet. I think my autopilot mode started trying to ask questions but I don’t think they made any grammatical sense, so I then started a grand tour. SG was quick to remind me that she had already received one over Skype. So fiery! Just like I remember. Still, I was lost for words. I couldn’t take my eyes off her. I couldn’t stop smiling!! 

The tour took us upstairs where my housemate — one of the friends who was at Sidebar the Night SG and I met, and was there for every step of the saga after that — was fussing about. He was almost as shocked as me, but managed to regain his grasp of the English language a lot sooner. They started catching up while I stood in silence and tried to come to terms with what was happening. I still couldn’t believe my eyes. SG. In my country. IN MY HOUSE! WE WERE SUPPOSED TO BE SKYPING!! CRAZY!!! 

Feeling that my knees finally about to give way, we sat around that table for a little while. I still couldn’t really talk, in fact, I was so spun out that I spent most of the time trying to figure out how to get the cap back on my water bottle. Based on a journal entry of that night written a day or two after, apparently all I could remember from that part of the night was me looking at SG and SG looking at me, doing what we do best - saying everything without saying anything. It was electric. Her eyes were so blue, so cheeky, so mysterious and sooooo happy. She was obviously super impressed with herself for completely bowling me over with the surprise - and she deserved to be! Completely blindsided in the best possible way.

Next thing I knew we were on our way to get gelato on Enmore Road which was 5 minutes walk from our apartment. My housemate and SG’s sister walked ahead (good wingman). I remember tentatively putting my arm around SG but I was so scared. I had no idea where I stood or where the boundary was. All I wanted to do was pick her up, spin her around and squeeze the life out of her because after 5 long years she was finally by my side and that was something I thought might never happen again. 

We arrived to the gelato parlour and I had no cash (typical) so SG came with me to get some at a nearby ATM. My sense ran wild because it was our first time alone together… but I still couldn’t speak so I think it was a bit of a train wreck. Eager to find out where the boundary was, I asked how people in the UK felt about her coming to Australia again. Her Dad - fine. Mum - fine. Mr. Wise (a friend, it’s an in-joke) - fine. But what about Dude?!… There was no mention of him, so then I asked “Did anyone else have an opinion on you coming out here?”. SG turned, looked me dead in the eye, smiled and said “No” in the most mischievous way you could imagine. She knew what I was asking and it was clear that wasn't going to give me an answer that easily. Still uncertain...

Back at my apartment we decided it was time for SG to open her Christmas present, which had been sent back to me from her post office in the UK because she didn’t collect it on time. She headed straight for my vision board, her sister left the room and finally we were ALONE alone. This is probably not how it happened at all but in my memory, we were standing near the vision board, half on / half off the bed. I reached for her hands, pulled her close and squeezed her tight. With my head resting on hers, I said softly “It’s so good to see you”. She replied the same thing and in that moment it felt like time stopped. All the proverbial pieces of my life’s the puzzle fell completely into place. It felt… right.

After we had our moment, I drove SG and Sister back to their hostel in The Rocks, made plans to see them the next day, said good night and drove away. I called Mum straight away and tried to explain it all to her. On the way home, I drove to my brother’s house and attempted to do the same thing. I failed miserably both times because there were no words to describe the gravity of what had just transpired. Unbelievable in the truest sense of the word.

And that, dear friend, is what the bridge in Miss Behavin’ is all about. The lyrics should make a lot more sense now that you know the story behind them:

Five years went past so fast and then I heard a knock at my door 

To my surprise her eyes were there and starin' into my core 

I could not speak, my knees went weak, I nearly fell to the floor na na na na na

There stood my girl. My rock. My world. How could I ever want more?

I feel the same as before

Yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah